Last week I found out that I would no longer be working in the position that I have had for 10 years. This has been a tremendous professional and personal blow for me and one again I am staring at an unfinished chapter, having no idea where it is going to go.
The past 5 years at Halstead Academy in Baltimore County Public Schools have been the best of my 22 years in the county. When I first walked through the doors of Halstead, for some odd reason, I felt at home and complete. I felt that my story was written that day, signed sealed and published. This was where I was going to stay for the rest of my career. I felt it in the students I have come to love. I felt it in the best friends I have made among my fellow teachers. I felt it in the challenges I faced to learn and share my technology knowledge with students and staff. And I felt it in the changing administration that have made Halstead Academy a place of learners for all. While I love what I do at Halstead, I love the students even more. I spent Friday looking at these students individually. Students who have challenged me, taught me and yes sometimes frustrated me. My love for these students makes contemplating leaving there so much harder to bear.
I have been very fortunate in my career. My 5 years at Victory Villa were the best years in terms of being a classroom teacher and having the opportunity to work with an amazing team that taught me what co-teaching and sharing are all about. Allison and Cindy you will always be a part of my team! You have taught me more about friendship and teamwork then I ever could have learned anywhere else.
When I left the classroom to become a technology teacher I had no idea what I was doing. I did, however, know that I loved it! I was so fortunate to work with Pat Quinn who showed me the ropes and helped me to develop not only my technology teacher skills but also my love of troubleshooting technology issues and learning as I go. Pat taught me to have confidence in myself and I always say- "I learned everything I know from her." (and that I miss her- Pat I have I told you that recently?)
So when I came to Halstead, I had a wealth of experiences under my belt and every one of those experiences helped to shape the teacher I became at Halstead. It hasn't always been easy but it has been the most rewarding experience I could have ever hoped for. And now change is on the horizon once again. My blank page is before me and I have no idea what will be written on it.
I have no idea if I will be a classroom teacher next year or in some other position. I don't know if I will even continue my employment with Baltimore County. I do not know if I will be fortunate enough to stay at Halstead or begin, yet again, at another school. Being the author of my own story means that I know where I want the "characters" to head but sometimes (as I learned from Ava and Jack) the story writes itself. I know exactly what I would do with my job if I were to write the story. Unfortunately I am not writing this part of the story, maybe that is why I am struggling with this. So much of my future is out of my control right now. This is unsettling for many reasons and unlike writing a book, I can't shape my career the way I would like at this point.
I wrote in my previous post about "gifts" that I was presented with that propelled the story forward. I am at a point in my "blank page" that I need to look for those same gifts that will serve to put me exactly where I am supposed to be, if not where I want to be.
In the meantime, I am trying to stay hopeful and positive in a time of change and will use these "life lessons" in my next book which I am beginning to work on. I think this will be a nice distraction for me and I can't wait to see what all of these blank pages in my life and in my next story turn into!
Stay tuned!
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